The field work for this story was done in partnership with Arka Bhattacharya.
CHENNAI: Traditionally clothes were worn by human beings to protect themselves against external environment elements such as sunburns and frost bite, but as time progressed, clothing became more personal and social norms came into place denoting different type of clothing for different genders. Society put into place norms that explained that a specific colour or type of clothing was either masculine or feminine.
The phenomenon of cross-dressing stems from this very rule of society. When a human being, either male or female, dresses up as a member of the opposite gender it is called cross-dressing. This phenomenon has been around for ages and throughout history, human beings have cross-dressed for various purposes in life. Cross-dressing has been a part of our society since the very beginning and examples of this are present in Greek, Norse and Hindu mythology. Apart from that, cross-dressing has a long history, and initially it was prominently practiced in folklore, literature, theatre and music.
Moving on to the modern times, the subject of cross-dressing has for long been associated with the identity of a transgender or the portrayal of homosexuality (in males) in an individual. The concept of cross-dressing has become embroiled with these concepts and because of this a stigma has been attached to it by our society that makes it difficult for them to accept cross-dressers and forces a whole community of cross-dressers to remain in secrecy.
Shakthi (28), a former volunteer at Nirangal (a non-profit organization for sexual minorities) and currently working closely with Sahodaran (another non-profit organization for sexual minorities) says, “A major reason for the secrecy of the cross-dressing community is that society clubs them with the LGBT community. Cross-dressers like to dress up as females because of their personal inclination towards feeling feminine and it doesn’t necessarily play a part in the person’s sexuality. When we club them with the LGBT community, we describe them as something they are not. This forces them to hide themselves from the society.”
Non-profit organizations like Sahodaran which work for sexual minorities operate DIC’s (Drop-in Center) where members of the LGBT community can come and just relax in an environment where other members from their community are present. Other than that, these DIC’s provide counselling and HIV testing to the people of the community. It is in these DIC’s that one can sometimes come across a cross-dresser in Chennai, who comes there just to dress up and follow their heart’s liking away from the prying eyes of the society, in the presence of a community which has been shunted by society, just like them.
Jaya (36), General Manager of Sahodaran says, “Our organisation works primarily for transgenders and their rights, but the DIC functions like a community space where even cross-dressers are welcome to come and spend time. People just come here and interact with others member of the community. Their activities can range from dressing up to singing songs. This space is very important as members of the community can be themselves here without the fear of society judging them, something they are only able to do in complete privacy. Sahodaran is basically a community based organization.” Whilst the cross-dressing community might find solace in private spaces away from the prying eyes of society, their connection to society is the biggest among the LGBT community. “People who like to cross-dress enjoy the personal time they spend in DIC’s and other private spaces but outside of that, there life is pretty normal. They have a family, a job and other responsibilities. Many people keep the fact that they cross-dress, a secret from their family and friends also, due to the social stigma attached to it,” says Shakthi. The stigma attached to cross-dressing and to the LGBT community in general has created such norms in our society that a person who likes to cross-dress, has to hide it from his family, but can share his feelings among strangers.
Lata (37, name changed), is a member of the LGBT community who was born in Chennai, but shifted base to Mumbai after tenth standard. She came back to Chennai in 2003 and has set up six self-help groups across Tamil Nadu. Speaking on the different reaction the community receives in Mumbai and Chennai, she says, “People in Mumbai pay are a lot more sensitive towards our community than here in Chennai. One of the major reasons for such indifference towards the community from the society is because of what parents teach their children. Parents should teach their kids that we are also part of this society and to treat us with respect, rather than outcasts. Small children here in Chennai often used to throw stones at me just because I belong to this community. I have not seen such kind of behaviour in Mumbai.”
The concept of transgenders and cross-dressing is very ambiguous to today’s youth. Such topics are not discussed at home or schools, and when children do ask their parents or teachers about it, proper education is not imparted to them and rather they are told to stay away from them. Such kind of edification does not give away any real knowledge, and in retrospect, only creates a situation where a child becomes ignorant and insensitive towards the LGBT and cross-dressing community. Speaking about the employment, she says, “Once I visited a private company’s office near the Adyar region to apply for a job. Upon seeing me, they offered me Rs 100 and asked me to go away because other people might feel hesitant about working there, if I did.” Asking her why she didn’t report the matter to the police, she says, “The police are no better. They will also further harass me about my gender.”
It is no mystery that this community lives in secrecy because opening up to society has caused them nothing but pain and hurt. The police which is there for the protection of the citizens also turns a blind eye to them, and rather only creates problems for them, instead of treating them like every other citizen of this country.
Looking beyond the veil of secrecy
With so much going against them, the cross-dressing community in Chennai stays well hidden and plain out of sight to avoid the hassles of being a cross-dresser in Chennai. A quick search on the internet can find you a list of cross-dressing parlours across the city, but those are only where people who are comfortable to be known in public about cross-dressing go to. Behind that world, there is another group of cross-dressers in the city that does not come like to come out in public because the consequences will be unbearable for them.
Traversing through the cross-dressing world of Chennai, we come across Saravanan (26, name changed), a regular office going person, who in his privacy, is a cross-dresser. He is not alone. In his circle from Chennai alone, there are 45 cross-dressers and a total of 200 members from various cities across Tamil Nadu and Kerala. He says, “We like to organize trips every three months to various destinations in the Erode district where we book a cottage for ourselves. Over there, in our privacy, we like to hold a cross-dressing party cum vacation where we hold various events. We do this because cross-dressing in Chennai is not always safe, as in the city there is a chance of somebody finding out and we are only able to cross-dress when we are in complete privacy, which is not often.” In these trips, this group of people have created their own families, and like to live in their own world where they have a feminine name, which goes by their cross-dressing personality. “We get married to each other and also adopt each other as son and daughter and conduct the ceremonies also. We conduct various other competitions such also like dance and fashion shows,” he adds.
Secrecy among this group of people is of paramount importance, Saravanan stays in touch with all members using a group on Whatsapp. The only people he adds on to the group are the ones he knows and trusts. When somebody new approaches him to join the group, he says it’s easy for him to decipher whether a person is lying or not and is actually a cross-dresser. “After so many years of living in two worlds, it’s easy to interpret when a man is lying about being a cross-dresser or not.” He says that when going on trips to various places, secrecy and privacy of the group become of paramount importance and all members of the group are required to leave their mobile phones behind in Chennai only. “We do not allow anyone to click pictures of other members and only have four-five phones which anyone can use to contact their families.”
Recollecting his last trip, he says, “The last time we went out of Chennai was nine months ago. We have not gone since then because the police in the area caused some problems for us. This time we are going on the 17, 18 and 19 of this month, after nine months.” Talking about what happened on the last trip, he says, “We brought a substantial amount of alcohol from a TASMAC nearby and the attendant at the shop tipped the police about us. The police came to our cottage later and when they found us cross-dressing, tried to harass us and clicked everyone’s photographs. Most members of the group ran helter-skelter, but with a couple of others I stayed and talked to the police. They took a bribe of Rs 5000 and then deleted all the photos and went away.” He further adds, “The owner of the cottage is a friend of ours and also lawyer. He was very helpful in dealing with the cops. In privacy, the cottage owner is also a crosser-dresser.” After that incident, the group has waited nine months to go on a trip just so that such hassles do not happen again.
If they ever want to cross-dress in Chennai, Saravanan books a room in a guest house in Triplicane where they go and change clothes. “We never step out of the room and only wear are dresses and accessories inside the room,” he says. Talking about his entry into the world of cross-dressing, he tells us, “I was a kid when I realised that I was more feminine in nature. Whenever I was alone at home, I used to wear sarees and do things like praying and cleaning. I was confused at that time what it was but along with time, I understood my feelings.” Till date, no one in his family knows that he is a cross-dresser. He says, “My parents will never understand. Its better I don’t tell them.”
To keep themselves protected from the stigma that society associates with cross-dressing, this group of people have maintained a secrecy around them and in their own privacy, they have created their own world, where they have their own different families. The conservative outlook of society has driven them to completely hide who they are from it. We ask Saravanan if he thinks this society will ever accept cross-dressing and in a flash he answers sternly, “No.”
The Reflective Index 